I’m really excited to see my two old highschool beat friends and I’m honestly kind of nervous for it before cause I hope they don’t think I pushed them away because I didn’t want them there, but because.. well I don’t really know. I was stupid. And I’ve become smarter being away from them because I’ve had to learn the hard way. Anyways, I’ve missed them and I hope I don’t have to go another year without seeing them.
When I try to do the girl code and tell a older women whose nipple is out doesn’t work because she’s too drunk and keeps introducing herself to me.
Its kinda sad but funny at the same time.
Drunk what up. I love Smirnoff Sorbet
I have this thing where I won’t buy myself clothes til I lost some weight.
Its been how long now?
One time I was masturbating in the shower and came so hard that I couldn’t keep in my scream but I knew my brother was in the bedroom next door and that he’d hear and know what I was doing so I quickly transitioned into singing the opening of the Lion King.
i have an unknown need to reblog this
This is going to be my most tumblr famous post.
I can feel it my lions.
I mean my loins.
i’ve reblogged this like three times and i still have no idea what the fuck is going on
is this what happens when actors try to leave disney
THIS IS MARRIAGE!!
Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.
He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”
Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT THAT IS GREAT
LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.
In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.
Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.
Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT.
Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.
FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.
^^ I throughly enjoyed the history lesson dashed with the colorful adjectives.
I remember when I was like 4 my dog gave birth to fucking 14 pups and we basically had two huge pens in our front hard everyday trying to sell these puppies. And I would go inside them and get surrounded and trampled on by puppies.
Those were the days.